Book Recommendations From Your Therapist

Part 1 - books that changed me
…in no particular order

• Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself
  Kristen Neff

  • If you read nothing else on this list, read this book. Self-compassion may be the hidden resource to living truly authentically and with the most influence on your own actions and experiences. Unlike the self-esteem movement of the 90s, the self-compassion movement is really good at consistency and authenticity. Want to improve your relationship with the voice inside your head/your body/your life experience? This one’s for you.

• Come As Your Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life
  Emily Nagoski

  • This really changed my understanding of human sexuality and how emotions, motivations, and the nervous system’s needs are at play in the realm of intimacy and connection. I guarantee you, you’re wrong about some fundamental assumptions you have about sex. This book will change that.

• Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship
  Stan Tatkin

  • Neurobiology, unconscious beliefs, attachment… Yes, please! A very clear and fairly simple break down of what’s happening in your romantic relationship, why, and what to do about it.

• Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate
  Stan Tatkin

  • A really helpful resource for anyone who has ever asked the question “how do I know if they’re the one?”

• The Body Keeps The Score
  Bessel Van der Kolk

  • A fantastic book that brought the neurobiology of trauma into the fore-front of many clinician’s and lay-person’s minds alike. If you want to understand how and why what happened to you before is still affecting you now, read this. If you’ve ever had therapy and still felt like nothing was changing, this is why. Words are not enough.

• The Art of Money: A Life-Changing Guide to Financial Happiness
  Bari Tessler

  • Money. A taboo more shameful than sex. This is a beautiful primer on changing your relationship to money using somatic awareness and self-compassion. Our society may be so uncomfortable about money issues that the avoidance is a happy breeding ground for shame that will affect more areas of your life than you realize.

• The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion
  Jonathan Haidt

  • Have you ever looked at someone who you absolutely loved but couldn’t wrap your head around why they believe as they do? Have you been baffled and distressed by how polarized American politics feels, especially in recent history? This is a tremendously helpful book on looking at your own biases to understand how your brain fools you and how to get your empathy and connection back.

• The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up
  Marie Kondo

  • Okay, so hear me out here… This is not just a book about organizing! This woman is a GENIUS who has really harnessed how our relationship to objects and our environments has a profound impact on our well-being. Fun, kind, compassionate.

• Sensorimotor Psychotherapy: Interventions for Trauma and Attachment
  Pat Ogden, Janina Fisher

  • This book accompanies the Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute trainings. Hands down, these are the most influential components of my clinical education and work.

• The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
  Brene Brown

  • The first of a number of lovely books written by this shame researcher. She has a nice perspective and shares great, rich data on her research and the paradoxical ways that are truly effective in working with shame and perfectionism.

• The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking
  Oliver Burkeman

  • Okay, so this was not actually life-changing for me - I’ve always been annoyed by positive thinking and “toxic positivity” - but this was the first book I found that really seemed accessible for folks looking for a do-it-yourself approach to feeling better.

• Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life
  Jon Kabat-Zinn

  • The quintessential starting point on your mindfulness journey. A really good beginner’s guide to understanding mindfulness, why it matters, and how to practice every day without feeling like you’re practicing.

• The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity
  Esther Perel

  • A fresh perspective on a really painful topic for many people. With a high divorce rate and a high prevalence of cheating in relationships, it seems important to have a thorough and thoughtful discourse on a topic we all wish would never affect us.