Hey there

Reluctantly Tender Soul…

I see you.

Your emotions, when they bust through your wall of overthinking, kick your butt and leave you scrambling and drained. Really, you don’t have feelings, you have TSUNAMIS. And it terrifies you. So you numb out with scrolling and shopping. You focus on taking care of other peoples’ emotions and you’re excellent at social chess.

You’re holding it together fiercely, afraid of being “too much” or worse “dramatic.”

You’re a master at hiding the parts of yourself that might not hold up to scrutiny, that might get you criticized or rejected.

That’s been working really well, actually. People seem to have no idea how much you’re hurting (until you snap).  

But, DUDE. you’re. not. happy. 

Happy? Never heard of it. Besides, that’s selfish.

The idea that happiness and fulfillment are selfish is a lie we’ve been told by the patriarchy (and probably some particularly hurtful people).

Happiness and fulfillment are the secrets to being truly generous and unfailingly compassionate.

You’ve avoided selfishness and drama so effectively by shutting down and disconnecting from yourself.
You’ve grown so much around what NOT to be, that you have no idea who you really are or what you really want out of life.

The truth is, this strategy is causing more emotional overwhelm, not less, not to mention a complete and utter lack of meaning in your whole damn life.

( and do I need to remind you that you only get this one? )

I know, you’ve tried to change, but you’re stuck. And overwhelmed. 

Here’s the thing.

Your internal emotional smoke detector can’t tell if the house is on fire or if you’re just trying to cook dinner.

Every time you try to make dinner (move toward happiness), you feel like the house is on fire (you’re doing something wrong).

My dude, aren’t you hungry?

You want meaningful relationships, but you also find social interactions deeply overwhelming, confusing, and frustrating. 

You need to rewire your smoke detector.

In session, I can create the conditions to help keep your smoke detector from going off while we tinker with the wiring and problem solve together.

Are you there yet? Is the pain of remaining tight in that bud chafing yet? It’s a risk to grow.

There’s risk in starting this therapy journey. Your heart will be broken as you face the demons that have terrified you in the musty basement of your psyche.

It’s damn scary. 

Oh, but friend… Let me tell you - it’s worth it.

I come from the same stock as you. I’ve felt like I couldn’t survive in this world with the amount of epic feelings burning through my veins and causing me to crumble. I started by learning to turn them off, disconnecting from my power source so as to not feel the shock of the current.

But eventually, I realized that it just wasn’t enough to survive. I wanted to be alive.

I also participate in my own therapy. I have a commitment to doing the work. So you can believe me when I tell you, I feel you.

We’re in this together. 

Do you feel motivated enough to take the risk, the big scary terrifying risk of blooming - of discovering yourself?

Cause, Girl, this shit takes bravery and it is not for the faint of heart.

Your whole THING has been around avoiding emotions. I do not expect you to be good at them. Managing emotions is like playing an instrument. It’s a skill that you need to learn, usually requires a teacher, and a whole damn lot of practice.

You might say…

Gentle Practice 

With me, the boundaries and expectations are clear. And you can count on my dedication to these values.

I will offer options for what might feel right FOR YOU and I’ll invite you to check out the data - until we get it just right.

Also, I'm very nice. Like really.

I’m awkward but I'm comfortable in my own skin. I know what I’m doing AND I genuinely want to help you.

I'm a bit silly and I like to laugh, when it's appropriate, even about hard things. But I know how to read a room and respond with seriousness when it's needed.

Listen, I got you.

You don't have to do the emotional labor in this relationship. That's my job.

You can finally start to tune in with yourself and learn the music of your heart because you can be relieved of all the effort to manage others.

I know that's hard to believe.

We’ll get you there.

tl;dr: Therapy works if it fits your learning style and particular needs. I'm good at helping people find and overcome the barriers that have prevented them from success.